Hiking at Lory State Park this last Saturday afternoon, your reporter chanced upon a merry band of wildlife biology students at the picnic tables. Seeing the festive, joyous band of youngsters, your reporter approached and noticed they were grilling. This, at least on the surface, seemed rather unremarkable… Except when your reporter, otherwise having a grand old time not working, inquired about their presence. One junior who asked not to be named sheepishly replied, “Uuuhhh… we’re wildlife biology students on field work. We were supposed to just catalogue and classify all species of wild birds here, which we did… but we kinda got hungry and decided to do a little grilling…with a few subjects of our studies. Seriously, why should we let perfectly good, tasty cormorants go to waste when nature gives us this delicacy?”
She went on, “You know, our prof kinda turned a blind eye to us. Either that or she just didn’t notice the shotgun, birdshot, spices, the camping grill and the propane tank we toted along with us on our way to Lory [State Park].” Another student interjected, “Or the keg of beer.”
Apparently the co-incidence of a field expedition at the same time of college football primetime caused resentment among the students who obviously showed tremendous ingenuity at taking matters into their own hands. “You know, nature just gives us SO much to choose from! Just here we have geese, ducks, rabbits and our VERY favorite: cormorants! Here, have a try.” Your reporter politely declined. She continued, “C’mon, don’t be snooty! This is better for you than the nasty chickens that Swift and Company gorges with GMO feeds and stuffs with growth hormones.” Your reporter grudgingly tased the grilled cormorant, regretting the experience immediately.
Even though this expedition was strictly a bird cataloguing trip, it appeared that the students also had a taste for rabbit meat. “Here! We’re grilling a wild rabbit too. This one’s a little tough and gamey, but it sure beats the ones that the CDC does bubonic plague research on. They think that they dispose of them, but… hey, waste not, want not.”