Fort Collins’ foodie scene is one of the nation’s most diverse. But when Seung-Hui Kim, aka Tommy Kim opened Pyongyang Palete, Colorado got its first ever North Korean eatery.
Mr. Kim, originally from Seoul, South Korea purports to be a North Korea aficionado and a great admirer of the Kim Dynasty, which has ruled North Korea since 1945. When asked to comment about his restaurant, he said, “10,000 years of life to the Great General Kim Jong-Un and long live the DPRK (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, as North Korea is officially called) and the memory of the dear leader, Kim Jong-Un and the Great Leader Kim il-Sung. My intentions are to bring the superior cultural cuisine of the great land to the pitiful imperialist shithole which is Northern Colorado. Though our menu is heavy on naengmyeon (buckwheat noodles, usually served cold) dishes, we have specialty gogi-gui (typical Korean barbecue), with a special local ingredient.” He winked at your stunned reporters. Offering reporter Buck Humingbird a bowl of what appeared to be stew, Ms. Humminbird politely stuck to the buckwheat noodles. When pressed about the secret ingredient to his infamous gogi-gui Mr. Kim referred to the Fort Collins Coloradoan’s article from Dec. 31st which noted the abandonment of around 100 domesticated rats at the Prospect Ponds Nature Area.
“The people of DPRK are a resourceful bunch, and they’ll eat anything that has legs except for a table, and anything that has wings, except for an airplane. This includes such capitalist cast-offs as rats, and such capitalist pets as dogs. Incidentally, the Larimer County Humane Society has totally blackballed me, and these animal rights wankers keep boycotting my joint and giving me all kinds of shit. In any case, if your own farm or ranch property ever has a prairie dog problem, drop me a line!”
Although the food is definitely distinct and quite different from what is usually on hand in FoCo, it was surprisingly awful. A line of people still stood on the sidewalk an hour after your reporters sat down, though it is imagined that this may turn into a line of animal rights picketers before long. While the naengmyeon is palatable, don’t try the “secret” jeongol if you have cat allergies nor the “nuclear North” noodles unless you like your hair to stand on end. Up-to-date life and health insurance recommended especially when trying “Chongjin Choice,” which features the aforementioned special ingredient.