In a press release earlier today, the Bolder Boulder organization stunned the running community and residents of Boulder with a last-minute announcement stating that the 10-kilometer race, now in its 41st annual running, will not be held in Boulder this year. Reasons of over-crowding and problems with parking were cited. “We will therefor be moving the race to beautiful, historic Greeley, Colorado.” The race, it was explained, will begin at Island Grove Park, run past the Swift and Co. slaughterhouse, turn South on US 85 towards Evans and end right back where it starts.
When we at the Focopolian Tribune got wind of this news, we called the Bolder Boulder to find out about this last minute change of venue. Surely there would be a hitch, after all, the race being held on Memorial Day, which is just three days after the publishing of this article. Surely there will be logistical difficulties. Thankfully Bolder Boulder spokeswoman Lola Renner called us back.
“Naaaahhh. There will be no difficulty at all. We’ll just get all our gear- timers, chips, bibs, promotional material, billboards, aid stations, tents, race medals, jerseys, sponsors and volunteers and put all that stuff in the back of my boyfriend’s pickup, and we’re set. Shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours.” Asked about the 50,000 participants and athletes who have signed up for the race, and in many cases flew in from faraway and made hotel reservations in Boulder and nearby communities, Renner said, “Uuuuhhhh… They’re on their own, but I think most of ’em know where Greeley is and it’s not too much of a haul, so… no problem. Oh, yeah and we’ve actually got good parking there, ’cause after all, nobody goes to Greeley. It’s not like any people actually live there; it’s all cows, and shit. By the way, do they clean their roads after the cowboys drive the cattle down the main road? I don’t know much about Greeley except what my mom told me about it after reading [James Michener’s epic novel] Centennial.”