In and early morning undercover police operation, a law enforcement task force composed of personnel from Fort Collins Police Services, the Larimer County Sheriff’s Department and the Colorado State Police netted an adulterous couple in flagrantis delicto having sex in the back seat of a rented Honda Civic. Fort Collins Police Services officer Hugh G. Rection interjected, commenting, “Party’s over, folks,” disappointing the couple who had never previously been handcuffed under law enforcement auspices.
“We have had various complaints from residents of the Warren Shores area about rocking cars, disposed condoms, loud moans coming from parked vehicles and a fishy smell wafting in from the parking lot. Somebody had to do something about this.” Police Chief Terry Jones said at a press conference in the aftermath of the imbroglio, “And now for something completely different.”
In a jailhouse interview with the adulterous couple identified as Roger Geldlieber of Chicago and Betty Humpter of Fort Collins, Mrs. Humpter recounted their evening as having begun with a dinner of Fizolli’s lasagna. It continued with a shared drive-thru McFlurry before the couple left for a secluded parking lot. “I told him that I wanted a hotel room, but he was too fucking cheap, as always!” Locking themselves in the back seat area, things were getting heavy when Geldlieber realized he forgot the condoms in the glove compartment. Unable to reach for them, and unable to put his clothes on in the dark, cramped back seat, he exited the vehicle to find police only feet away.
Officers promptly arrested the two and brought them to the Larimer County Jail for an overnight stay at your (the reader’s) expense. In an act of grace, officers helped the couple to get dressed, handcuffed as they were.
Geldlieber had nothing to say other than, “I’m posting bail for myself. You’re on your own, honey,” referring to Humpter. Humpter replied, “Just keep your cheap ass away from me; what type of miser orders a McFlurry for a romantic interlude?”
Followup note: This arrest expedited divorce proceedings between Humpter and her husband as well as Geldlieber and his wife.
