In a move that defies stereotypes, the Floating K Truck Stop announced earlier today that it will be opening a new mode of eating at their Cheyenne location. The truck stop, which is located where the East-West highway I-80 meets the North-South Highway, I-25 is very well known to truckers across the country. There, truckers from all over North America fill up, park and eat on their way to their next destinations. While truckers are more known for their partiality to chicken-fried steaks, burgers-and-fries, pancakes-and-waffles with maple syrup and the like, the managers of the Floating K have more enlightened ideas for their patrons.
Spokesman Billy Miller stated, “It is clear that truckers live a sedentary life and that many suffer from obesity, diabetes and heart failure because of it. What better way for us to not kill our clientele than to offer them better food?” He went on, “We are true, red-white-and-blue American capitalists and we cater to the reddest-whitest-and-bluest of Americans: truckers. If we’re gonna be real Americans, we must be good capitalists. That means giving your customers what they want, right? Wrong! Well, not necessarily. While we like to eat a good-ol’ steak and eggs with freedom fries every-now-and-then, we can’t go around offering it to people all the time. That’s just gonna kill ‘em, and for us to have a clientele in the first place, we have to keep them alive. We won’t do that for long, if we keep offering them a diet of GMO grain-fed beef and poultry, fried in cholesterol-oil and served with artery clogging gravy and sugary syrups. Better they eat quinoa patties with tofu made from organic soya beans. Even better if they down it with a cilantro and arugula smoothie with carrot juice instead of soda.”
Focopolitan Tribune reporters Ludwig Schnee and Buck Hummingbird visited the new eatery and approached a crowd gathering around a big-screen TV with NASCAR showing on it. We asked a burly man with a ZZ-Top beard and a beer belly if he was there for refueling or for the vegan fare. He replied, “You got a death wish, buddy?” Apparently, not all truckers are too keen on the novelty. Some, though, expressed a positive, if reserved sentiment towards the vegan option, “My old lady is always on my case to eat better, so I guess I’ll try it.” said Billy-Bob Doyle of Fayetteville, Arkansas.
In other news, the Floating K announced that it has plans to open a yoga studio sometime early next year to accompany the vegan restaurant.