Adult Industry Talent Scouts Found at Greeley West High School Career Fair

in Arts and Entertainment by
In what has become a first in Weld County District 6 history, administrators have allowed representatives of D and L Entertainment, an adult industry conglomerate, which includes such websites as dekwansxxxwhitebitches.com and lusciouslindyslustylesbolovers.com, to set up booths alongside other prospective local and national employers. The controversial move has drawn outspoken criticism, indeed ire, from parents, religious leaders and the community at large. “This is so inappropriate! I can’t believe the district allowed pornographers into our school and left Jesus out!” remarked one anonymous parent.

 Dekwan Washington and Linda “Lindy” Dawson, partners in more than just business ventures, had a far more pedestrian view of their entry into the high school’s career fair. “We’re just scouting for some new talent for our ‘barely legal’ category. SoCal and South Florida just can’t fill the demand for it. We’re a growing industry.” Remarked Dekwan, “We’ve been getting lots of interest from the young women here…and some of the staff! I could use’em in our MILF section but that ain’t what we came here for.” Asked about the controversy that surrounded her and Dekwan’s professional presence there, Dawson added, “Well, if people don’t want to work for us, they don’t have to. Just like if they don’t want to work for McDonald’s they don’t have to either, and if they don’t like porn, we’re not forcing them to watch it. Serious, folks, get over yourselves.” Linda and Dekwan added that in the state of California alone more than 10,000 people are employed in some way in the adult entertainment business, where it is a $13 billon dollar annual industry. “What other $13 billon, 10,000-employee business should be denied access to a good staffing solution like this?”

 School administrators remained officially mum over their decision, but it appears to the Focopolitan Tribune that they did not fully know what D and L Entertainment was until the career fair was long underway. Speaking to our reporters, an administrator took a nuanced view of D and L Entertainment’s presence, “Well, what can I say? Having the adult industry here just opens another door of opportunity for some students to maybe get a shot at winning for once.” The administrator added, “All branches of the military recruit here, and that job can actually kill you, maim you and give you PTSD—the real kind, not the chicken-shit-safe-space variety! Are any of those parent-protestors going to tell me that the porn industry, which doesn’t get you killed, is somehow worse? It’s okay to go off to kill and die for your country no questions asked, but acting in an adult film is somehow worth the community’s protest?”

 Dekwan and Linda were pleased with the overall result of the career fair. “We had quite a bit of interest and when they’ve graduated and turned 18, we’ll be giving them a call,” replied Linda. “Definitely will have to try something like this again…much more impressive than recruiting from down-on-their-luck actors!” Dekwan added.

Ludwig Schnee is the illegitimate grandson of Adalbert 'Adi' Schnee, the World War II submariner who won the Knights Cross with Oak Leaves for his gallantry as a U-Boat commander. Born in June of 1976, Schnee has lived in Fort Collins since the early 1990s and is the quintessential Focopolitan.

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